‘All you need is motivation?’

Untitled

So I’m sure you’re all thinking, ‘wow well a third blog in a week, I wonder what this means’

Well, it means one horrible, painful thing. The essay packs came out. I now have until the 13th of May to write four essays and then I am done with university forever.

This thought exists and terrifies me.

On one hand, I can’t wait to leave education. I am done with it. I was never fantastically academic. I worked hard and did my best and in sixth form I did well. I went from average, to above average, back to average and its been a bit of a blow. So I can’t wait to  work. To feel like there is a purpose, to get paid.

I know that in a year or two I will talk about how much I miss university. I’m sure if I am still merrily blogging away you will read a blog about the joys of uni and how much I miss it.

But right now, I can’t wait until I hand my essays in, safe in the knowledge I will never have to write another one again.

I love learning and being interested and passionate. But I hate writing essays 😛 hahahaha

I am a good student, I get it done but by the end of every term, I hate university and want to escape and get out.

So this is for everyone who has dissertation hand ins and those of us who are close to escaping education.

Happy reading everyone 🙂 xx

Advertisements

Love/ Hate Relationship: Windows 8

I don’t particularly like change or the unfamiliar. This distrust of new things had to be confronted when I had to get a new laptop.

I have had an ambivalent relationship with my previous systems on my laptop. (I apologise, I am no computer person so I may not use correct terms, or attempt to use them at all)

But my new laptop, my new shiny, purple, glorious laptop, has Windows 8. I hate Windows 8. With a passion. Most of the time.

I hate how confusing it is. I hate that it is pretty restrictive. I hate that I don’t always know exactly where to go, I hate that it’s difficult to have skype and a webpage up at the same time. I hate the different video player there is.

The list is long.

The more I am getting used to this laptop the easier it is getting. I am slowly figuring out how to do things, like splitting the screen and actually using the laptop. It does help that one of my housemates knows how to use it so I crawl sobbing to them asking for help.

But anyway… once I’ve moved all of my music and stuff onto this stupid machine, I think that will make life a little bit better.

xx

Freedom Tastes like Cake

Why hello again!

So I’m sure you are wondering where I’ve been, why I uploaded so much at once and then went. But actually you probably are not and are visiting because I spamned my facebook and twitter (which I most surely will) 

Well I had my big deadline in on tuesday, my big big one for the term. It all got in, all was safe. That crippling sense of worry, that knowing that every second you are not reading, writing, adjusting, thinking about your essay is time wasted and the guilt that merges into the crevice of your soul…… anyway, or just the feeling that you will never be finished is over and gone. It finished like everything always does. Every time these sets of essays are due in I see them as this never ending journey that will go on and on and on. And every time they end….. surprisingly enough I know. 

 

So now my dear, I am free. On my instagram I posted a photo which I commented on saying ‘freedom tastes like cake’ and yes, it did at the time. I went to a tea room with my friend. (Yes I do frequent a very nice tea room in Cardiff, the people are lovely, the tea is the best I have had, and I love the mismatch of everything in there.) 

But freedom does not taste like cake my friends. Breifly it did, but freedom is so much better than cake! (How can this be I hear you ask?)

Freedom is odering your books for the next term. Freedom is starting to read the introductions of books and figuring out what you will think of the next module. Freedom is getting up and actually looking forward to your degree again. I hope that everyone feels free everyday, freedom is enjoying life, so I hope each and everyone of you feel free everyday

So yes I am free, and baby freedom never tasted so good!Image

Yeah… I’m talking to you

2013-02-24 10.00.19

Like all teenage girls….. No wait I mean EVERYONE, I had self esteem issues that I had to deal with. I wished I was thinner, prettier, happier, funnier, more popular…. you know what everyone wants.

And it’s because I thought that everyone else had it all figured out. Now that I’m old(er) I’ve realised that no one ever has it all figured out, its just that most people accept that and make the most of it. People are either dealing with the stuff they want to deal with or have and are now happy with themselves. I’m getting to that. It’s taken a while but I am rocking the body I have (although I’m not quiiiiiite where I want it to be) and I’m happy.

I think my big push came when I realised that the girls who I wanted to be, I didn’t actually want to be them. I wanted to have interests and know lots and be interesting. What I saw from these other girls were how they talked about how much weight they wanted to lose, or what was wrong with their lives. And I didn’t want to define myself by what was wrong with my life. And it was that. I want to be positive. That realisation came a couple of months ago so I am still having to actively think to be positive.

So, yes when I look in the mirror I make myself say that in my head. Because it’s my belief that people need to be thankful and recognise, ACTUALLY RECOGNISE, what is great and amazing about them.

My News Years resolution is to be more positive about myself and I have to say at least one positive thing about someone (whether its a random person or a friend) a day.

Everyone needs to look in the mirror and ask themselves ‘when the f*** did I become this awesome’ because more likely than not, you are 🙂

Peace out! x

Waaaahhhh

Well, this decision to start writing a blog came to me at 3am when I started to panic about a lot of things. I won’t list them here as I am afraid of the feeling of panic coming back…. *stares into distance*

…. Anyway, this blog will probably be a bit random or ‘scatty’ (ha ha ha) at first while I decide on what I want it to be, but there will be book reviews and stories of things in my life that I feel are worth sharing 🙂

Hope you enjoy! x